A Letter to My Father-in-Law in Heaven

Mr. Sellers,

Every year Father’s Day comes and your sweet boy gets a little teary-eyed. He misses you just so terribly each and every day. There has been – and is – a lot happening in life right now, and I just really want you to know about it.

Tyler is doing great, just wonderful. He is such a hard worker and so dedicated to anything he sets his mind to. He is incredibly humble and doesn’t like to be the center of attention which, from what I have learned from stories, he must get from you. He is more introverted than me, but paired with my “never met a stranger” social skills, we balance each other out perfectly. He is incessantly hilarious and makes me laugh from my belly until I feel like I can’t breathe. When he and mom get together, they feed off each other and it provides for some incredible material. Ann is always telling me that he gets his sense of humor and comedic timing from you, so it makes me giggle just thinking about the jokes that would go on between the two of you now.

This October marks 7 years since I have met your son. He is turning 29 this year and I swear, every single year he just gets more and more handsome.

Tyler has big plans for his future; you would be so proud. I am not going to put them on here to give him a bit of privacy but…you know what those plans are.

I think his biggest hurdle in life is always going to be wondering if you are proud of him, if what he is doing in life is making you proud. When we talk about our kids (coming soon) Tyler always tells me, “I will be proud of them no matter what”, a mantra I know he must have learned from you and Ann. So, I think, when he really thinks about it, he knows you are proud of him.

Your beautiful, tough-as-nails wife is doing well. She is having some health issues lately, but the family has rallied together to help her in every single way we can. Tyler, K (I’m going to use her initial to give her some privacy), and myself have devised a plan to make sure someone is going to spend the weekend with her every 4 weeks. This way, someone is always there once a month to help her with shopping, housework, or any other little tasks she might need help with. It’s amazing how much seeing us more has helped her feel better. She is such an amazing woman and is going to be such a fantastic Nana one day to our little ones.

In the last few years I have met two incredibly lovely people, kin of yours, that welcomed me into the Sellers family with open arms.

Your sister Judy and brother Tony are two of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I could sit and listen to Tony tell stories about how you and your siblings grew up for hours. I have also learned it is true what I have been hearing for years that, “Aunt Judy would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it”. She is so selfless and loving, a true gift to this world. With Tony and Judy, you can tell that there isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for each other, nor is there anything they wouldn’t do for your sweet wife. They miss you every single day.

Every time we visit them, the moment we walk in the door, one of them will look at your boy and say,

“He looks just like his Daddy.”

Everyone will start to tear up, but I think it’s for happy reasons, as if Tyler is the closest thing to having you there with them in person.

It warms my heart and I know he loves hearing it.

Now this was something fun! This last Thanksgiving we took a family trip to the mountains and stayed in a beautiful little cabin that Aunt Judy hooked up for us. It was an absolute blast! Mom, Tyler, myself, K, Judy, and Tony all went up for 3 days. We cooked a delicious Thanksgiving feast together while we listened to Christmas music, and spent the rest of the time shopping, exploring, eating, and playing games that had us all crying from laughter. It sure was a trip for the books. You would have loved it!

We have been seeing K a lot more lately and I know Tyler is loving spending so much time with his sister. It is non-stop laughter at Mom’s house when we all get together and your wife glows with joy to watch the two of them together. K and Tyler are actually going on a “brother-sister trip” to Ohio to see U2 at the end of the month, which they cannot wait for.

The last couple years have been great, to say the least.

You know, I always wonder if you would have liked me, if you would have thought I was a good fit for your son.

When we got married, I later wondered if you would think I am a good wife. I know the way Ann took care of you and I just hope you think I am doing a good job. I was raised in a wonderful home and learned at an early age what it meant to be a good spouse from watching my parents relationship (I wish you could have met them, and I know they feel the same). My parents listen eagerly whenever Tyler starts to tell a story about you from your childhood. They love hearing about how you and your family grew up in the south (Tyler told the “bottle cap/fair” story a few weeks ago and everyone was just cracking up).

I wish I could have met you. I wish I had met your son just a few months earlier so I could have met the man he holds as the standard of a good husband and father. I wish I could hear stories told from your perspective about Tyler as a little boy, or watch the way you and Mom interact with each other.

Tyler and I are moving into a beautiful new home and we are planning to have children shortly after. I know that the day I have those babies, he is going to be overjoyed, but a small piece of him will feel saddened that you are not there to meet your grandchildren. My own Father is going to be a fantastic Grandfather though so don’t worry, those kiddos will feel that love.

I think that is how life will always be for him. He will always wish you were there, no matter how big or small the life event is.

I hope that when we have children we notice a characteristic, or personality trait that we cannot pin-point where they got it from, because then we know it will be safe to assume they got it from their Grandfather. Tyler is going to wish so terribly that they could know you.

But you know something, I think our kids will know you more than they will ever realize. They will know you through watching the way their Daddy treats their Mama. They will know you through the time Tyler spends sitting in the front row cheering at every dance recital and football game. They will feel your heart through the way Tyler speaks to them, with patience and love. They will know your humor in the way Tyler makes them laugh. They will know how supportive you were when they are facing a difficult time and they go to their Daddy for help.   

I want you to know that the love I have for your son in indescribable and grows stronger each and every day. He is the most amazing partner, friend, and one day, will be the most incredible father.

Again, I wish I had gotten the chance to tell you that.

Take care pop, and Happy Father’s Day

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s